Saturday, June 20, 2009

One-Eyed Fred


I think you've met Fred before.

But since I'm still such a technical dummy and STILL don't know how to embed links, meet Fred again.

Last week, we had some friends over.

They aren't pirates. And I haven't figured out what they are exactly, like cowboys, or surfers, or what. I can tell you that they are lots of FUN.

The kids names are Wyatt Earp, and his twin sisters, Hannah Montana and Miley C.

Captain Jake Sparrow ADORES Wyatt Earp.

And of course, Reilly the Red aspires to be as cool and hip as Hannah and Miley, especially since she gets TWO sets of all of their hand-me-downs, and the three of them share the same 'hippy chick' fashion sense.

So the grown-ups were having fun in the kitchen, just you know, being grownups and talking about 'boring' stuff.

And the kids were swimming.

And golfing.

Yes, golfing.

We have quite a large front yard, and Wyatt Earp brought his golf clubs with him.

And Captain Jake Sparrow is so excited about learning how to play golf.

And Fred loves to chase balls.

Any kind of ball.

You could throw a ball until your arm fell off, and Fred would fetch the ball AND your arm.

For hours upon hours upon hours.

So the boys got tired of swimming, or got tired of the silly girls, and got out of the pool and started to hit some balls in the front yard.


Accidents happen.

They just do.

May I just interject and say that they should institute AFLAC policies for dogs?

I digress.

Wyatt Earp took his driver, and with a really big swing, hit a golf ball.

And Fred decided to fetch.

At a 2" range.

Needless to say, Fred now has a pirate name.

One-Eyed Fred.

He still looks exactly the same as he does in the above picture, 'cept he can only see out of one eye.

When I heard about the accident, immediately after it happened, I swear to you, my first thought was:

"Dammit! Why couldn't this have happened to Jake? We have insurance! And we have AFLAC! An ambulance ride to the emergency room for an eye injury could have netted us TWO THOUSAND DOLLARS! DAMMIT DAMMIT DAMMIT! Oh. Are you okay Fred?"

And poor Wyatt Earp.

He felt so badly.

It so wasn't his fault.

It wasn't anybody's fault.

It was an accident.

Wyatt Earp even called our house a couple of times to check on Fred's condition, and to apologize over and over and over again. I told him each time that Fred was going to be okay, and that it was an accident and it wasn't his fault.

Actually, it worked out pretty great, because Fred needed a pirate name.


A big thank you to Wyatt Earp for helping us come up with One-Eyed Fred!



  1. selected you! You won the book! Email me your info and I will get it in the mail to you!

  2. AWESOME! you must get a patch and take a pic.

    your life is a self-fulfilling prophecy...any dog who lives in a pirate house MUST have a pirate name, and maybe even a patch.

    accident turning plain ole fred into one-eyed fred? i think not....voila!

    so funny, i woulda thought the same thing, "why couldn't have hit the kid? insurance covers that, vet bills, not so much."

    we're so broke if my dog so much as gets a runny nose, we have to euthanize him...