Friday, June 26, 2009

Fire Escape?


Okay, so I got this story secondhand, but it sounds right.

Allegedly, at VBS tonight, Captain Jake Sparrow and his cohort, B, were asked the following question:

"If there was a fire at your house, what is the one thing you would take with you when you got out of your house?"

Allegedly, B answered, "Tinnius", which I am told is the name of one of his Webkinz or Wonderpets or something. (Again, I am repeating a story I heard while 10,000 jacked-up-on-sugar-and-Jesus children were running around screaming and begging not to have to go home).

And then, Allegedly, Captain Jake Sparrow was asked the exact same question:

"If there was a fire at YOUR house, Jake, what is the thing you would take with you when you got out of your house?"

To which a smirky Captain responded, "My Pinn-ee-uss!"

Okay, this may sound really funny to all of you, but I promise you, The Captain has never used the word 'penis' in our house.

I know, I know, good parents use the real names of the body parts, but as has been proven hundreds of times in the past, we are not good parents.

The operative word for the Captain's 'unit' is "pee-pee".

Why he decided, today, at VACATION BIBLE SCHOOL to use the word 'penis' is beyond me.

And why he would think that he had to grab it in a fire when leaving his house also confuses me.

Seriously - this is the kid who whips it out and pees in the front yard, in the back yard, on the car tires, wherever. He knows it's ATTACHED.

To say I am perplexed is an understatement.

But the leader of tonight's VBS 'Turtle' group certainly enjoyed the nonsense that is Captain Jake Sparrow.

Miss Teri, I am happy you were entertained by my son - you are welcome.

I think.



  1. OK...first, I just found your blog yesterday and read the whole thing while my son watched Noggin. You inspired me to start blogging again because you're awesome!

    Second, Captain Jake is freaking hilarious! I had some kids like Captain Jake when I did story time at VBS...I can totally hear one of those kids saying that exact same thing!

  2. Gee I WONDER where he gets his wit?

  3. LMAO. I am so glad he is yours and not mine.

  4. That is beautiful. I seriously have tears in my eyes. Did you get your book?