Captain Jake Sparrow and Billy Two Swords went to Kroger's yesterday.
We don't have Kroger's in Florida.
Sparrow thought we were saying "Grover's".
So when Sparrow and Two Swords were in Grover's, Two Swords ran into someone he knew.
As they were leaving, Sparrow said, "Hey Daddy? Was that one of your old girlfriends?"
The answer was No, but for some reason, Sparrow thinks everytime his Dad talks to a woman, she must have been an old girlfriend. Weird. I mean, I know he is a damn handsome man and all.....
So when they got home, the Captain says, "Hey Mom, when me and Daddy went to Grover's we forgot to get you any of 'your' creamer."
Well, we needed a few other items anyway, so the Captain and I traipsed back into Grover's today.
And today is Friday, July 3, 2009. Yes, the day before the FOURTH of July.
Can you tell me WHY they are stocking every single product on every single shelf on every single aisle in the middle of a Friday which just happens to be the day BEFORE the Fourth of July?
Why is Jake telling me I don't know what I'm doing?
Why does Jake know where the wine is in Grover's?
Why is it that when I finally emerged from the millions of boxes of products being stock in the MIDDLE of the day, and finally found the creamer cooler and then couldn't find MY flavor, and said, "I am living a nightmare", an old woman behind me said, "Me too, honey, me too"????
Uncle Chuck and Aunt Dee arrived today.
As they always do.
And my little pirates came running in....."They brought SKITTLES! They brought SKITTLES! Woohoo! Woohoo! Woohoo!"
A few baby cousins arrived, and my kids became instant baby'sitter's. They both love little kids and babies.
One of the grandma's said about Reilly, "She was a great 'Mother Hen'! She just toddled around after them, wishing she had a baby sister."
No baby sister, Reilly, sorry.
You'll have to make 'do' with your cousins.
And here is how Reilly the Red became Fat Lip Fallon:
Mister Jack was playing with all the kids.
They were crawling on him and he was turning them upside down and the majority of them were landing on their feet.
In Mister Jack's defense, Reilly was the biggest kid there at the time, and she was warned, that she was becoming a little intense with her flipping, that she might get hurt.
He flipped her, and she fell.
On her right shoulder.
She stood up quickly, and her face was contorted in pain, but we thought she was okay.
Then she sat down, got this weird look on her face, and started to hyperventilate.
And then she stood up.
Her eyes rolled in the back of her head, and she fainted.
Flat on her face, onto the hardwood porch.
Two Swords ran and picked her up.
She was not breathing, and her eyes were rolling in the back of her head.
An aside - this has happened before. When she is in extreme pain, she goes into this weird state. It has only happened a handful of times, but we didn't panic. Everyone else was a little freaked out (understandably!), but we thought she would be alright.
I jumped up and went over and started slapping her on the back, telling her to 'breathe'.
Billy grabbed her face, and started squeezing her cheeks, and talking to her trying to get her to snap out of it.
Finally, she took a breath.
And then she started screaming.
I grabbed her and held her on my lap.
She was hysterical.
She was screaming about her shoulder, and I thought maybe she had dislocated it.
So I asked her to sit up for a second so that I could see her shoulder.
When she lifted her head, she saw the blood first.
My white sweater, which her face had been buried in, was covered in blood.
When I finally saw her face, her mouth was gushing with blood.
I tried to get her to calm down, so we could assess all of her injuries.
The inside of her top lip had a huge split.
She had even sliced that thingy that sticks out on the inside of your lip that attaches to your gums (I'm not an MD, so I have no idea what it's called, but if you put your tongue there, you'll know what I'm talking about!).
Two of her baby teeth became quite loose, and we had some concerns about one of her 'brand new' teeth.
We had concerns that she might need some stitches on the inside of her mouth.
But after a half hour, the bleeding stopped, so we ruled out stitches.
We gave her some ibuprofen and tylenol.
We gave her lots and lots of TLC.
We gave her ice and a wet washcloth for her head.
I isolated her from everyone, and tried to get her to relax and settle down.
She was more worried about what she was missing or potentially going to miss than a potential dislocated shoulder, busted lip and teeth, and a momentary loss of consciousness.
Poor Mister Jack. He felt so badly. But it wasn't his fault. At all. We tried to tell him that, over and over again.
But my biggest question was, "HOW was it that JAKE didn't have the accident?"
But, my heart melted when the Sparrow came to visit Reilly and hugged her and said, "I hope you feel better, Sissy. I love you."
And all was right with our world.