After coveting the green two-door 1992 Toyota Tercel with the roll-up windows for a few days, Captain Jake Sparrow offered Uncle Tommer SIX dollars for the car.
Clearly, Uncle Tommer wasn't giving up without a fight...
Later that evening, Grandpa treated us all to a dinner out, as a reward for the picture hanging that Billy Two Swords and I did most of the afternoon...
On the way home, I had the honor of sitting next to Captain Jake Sparrow in the wayyyy back.
I can tell he is contemplative.
"Mom?"
"Yes, Jake?"
"Mom. I really want to buy that car."
Oh buoy. Here we go again.
And if he DOES buy the car.....what a ridiculous thought. The kid is FOUR!
But I put on my quasi-psychologist, skilled-negotiator, mom-of-the-millenium hat on and reply,
"Jake, how much is that car REALLY worth to you?"
"Huh?"
"What I mean, is, how much of YOUR money are you willing to pay for that car?"
"Mom. I got SIX dollars."
"Well, Uncle Tommer said he wouldn't take SIX dollars."
"Ugh."
"Jake. You tell me how much you want to give Uncle Tommer for that car, regardless of how much money YOU have."
The Captain crosses his legs, crosses his brow, and starts to rub his chin with his fingers.
"Hmmmm. I got it! FORTY dollars Mom! I want to buy that car for FORTY dollars!"
"Okay Jake. I'll tell you what. You offer Uncle Tommer forty dollars for that car, and if he says Yes, I'll give you the money for it."
"Really Mom? You really will?"
"Sure. But you have to make sure Uncle Tommer knows that forty dollars is your FINAL offer."
"Okay Mom. Can we call him when we get back to the house?"
"I'm sure Grandpa will help you with that."
"Cool. I REALLY want that car."
Sure enough, when we get back to the homestead, Grandpa tracks down Uncle Tommer.
And the rest will go down in Captain Jake Sparrow history:
"Uncle Tommer?"
"Yeah boy!"
"This is Jake!"
"Hey buddy! What's going on?"
"I really really want that car of yours."
"You really really want it, huh?"
"Yeah. You know that car? That Green one? The one that you let me drive (shift)? The one that goes super fast? The one that makes all that noise? The one that has the window thingys? That green car that goes super fast? You know which car I'm talking about?"
"Oh yeah! The green car? Yeah, I know what car you mean. That sure is a nice car. I'm pretty proud of that car. She sure is a beauty!"
"Well I really want to buy it."
"Do ya now?"
"Uncle Tommer, I'll give FORTY dollars for that car and that's my FINAL offer."
"Woohoo! (and he whistled) That's a whole lot of money, there, FORTY dollars. Where'd you get that kind of money, boy?"
"FORTY dollars. That's my FINAL offer! Do you hear me??? FORTY dollars. Take it or leave it, Uncle Tommer. FORTY DOLLARS."
"Well, if you're offering that kind of of money, I guess I'll have to take it it."
Jake throws down the phone and comes running.
"MOM! I need my FORTY dollars! Uncle Tommer said I can I have it! Can we go get it right now?????"
Of course, we did not go get the car.
But I am proud to say, there are now THREE excellent negotiators in the family.
One of my children is of a more prosecutorial nature, one is more suited to be a defense attorney or a car salesman.
If he ever sits still long enough to learn how to read..........there just might be hope........
IF.
~
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