America's Funniest Videos

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So it was the last day of summer camp for the Pirates.

And it was the last day of pre-school for Captain Jake Sparrow. On Monday, he would be headed to the 'other side' of the school, where the 'serious' business of K4 begins.

Where he allegedly will learn how to read.

Where he allegedly will learn how to write his name.

Where he allegedly will exit the anal stage.

Allegedly.

In the meantime..............

So it was the last day of summer camp for the Pirates.

And it also just so happened to be a birthday party for his little girl classmate Riley.

And it also just so happened that little Riley's parents came for her birthday extravaganza, with video camera in tow.

So the birthday games were played.

And the birthday candles were lit and blown out.

And the cake was cut.

And the ice cream was scooped.

And the video camera was-a-rolling.

As all of the children were quietly digging into their cake and ice cream, in anticipation of the promised goodie bags yet to come, one child garnered the attention of the cinematographer.

One child.

One child.

ONE child.

Of course, it would have to be MY child.

As the other kiddos were shoving cake and ice cream into their pieholes, Captain Jake Sparrow screamed the following:

"MISS WEST! MY BUTT IS ITCHY!"

All I have to say is that if little birthday party girl Riley's parents even THINK about sending this clip into America's Funniest Videos...................

This potential mega money machine that I call Captain Jake Sparrow is MINE, dammit, MINE!

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