Monday, January 5, 2009

Why????? 'Cuz That's What Boys Do, Mama

He did it again.

He peed in the grass.

But this time, instead of just peeing in the grass, he dropped trowel as usual, exposing not only his 'unit', but his red Fruit of the Loom boxer briefs.

His perfect parabola of urine soaked my Home Security sign. So technically, he did not pee in the grass, he washed the sign with urine. Ugh. You'll be hearing that from me a lot....UGH. Sometimes it's all I can say. UGH. Or, help me GOD. They are said in the same breath of desperation. I promise you.

But today, rather than just peeing in the grass, or on the sign, he had to do it in the FRONT yard, while there were PEOPLE in our driveway, while there were CARS driving down our street in the middle of the dinner hour. And thankfully, one of the people in our driveway was a woman, a mother, who had the common decency to 'look away', whilst the other 'cool' dudes just laughed their rotten butts off.

But I had to ask the quintessentially dumb question, once again:

"JAKE! Why are you peeing in the grass?"

"Cuz that's what boys do, Mama."

And he pulled up his little man boxer briefs, and went on his merry way.

My day was going so smoothly today, for a tiny moment in time, I thought I would struggle with posting a blog today. Nope. Not in this house. Not with this spawn I am half responsible for creating.


  1. My son once pulled down his pants and peed on the grass. Unfort, his uncle was about 2 feet away, and had to quickly move out of the way. I guess that is just what boys do!
    p.s. My husband thought he was awesome for teaching him to push his pelvis forward, so the pee didn't hit him. Man thing, I guess.

  2. I am so glad I'm not the only out there! Thanks for following me, Friend!

  3. I'm going to have to ask Mom if my brother or I ever did this. Given how terrifying my mother is(was), I strongly doubt it.

  4. Well, I have three brothers, and I don't recall ANY of them whipping out their units in the front yard, unless it was to tend to a potentially fatal groin injury.

    My precious son is either some sort of genetic mutation, or the next Jimmy Kimmel. Please God, let him be a genetic mutation.

  5. Thank god I have a girl!

  6. My son dropped trou in the middle of a grassy public square in Pella, Iowa. With an 18 month toddler tucked under my arm, I raced across the grass in a "NOOooooo" moment calling out for him to STOP. He looked at me and said, "I can't." Duh. I hustled him with my free arm to a grouping of bushes bout 30 feet away. By then, of course, he was done. I LOVE BOYS!!