Thursday, January 1, 2009

Poopin' Machine

How is it possible that I have been at this blogging thing for a whole hour and 35 minutes, and I already have ANOTHER poop story?

In the words of Captain Jake Sparrow, this is 'reedikiless'.

I just caught the 4 year old monster in the bathroom, butt naked, as usual. But this time, he was also caught poop-handed.

Apparently, he had to 'poop' (I promise you, I have stories that aren't related to poop, so please hang on....), but there was no toilet paper.

So rather than asking someone to bring him toilet paper, he decided to wipe himself with his hand.

And rather than wash his hand, he decided to wipe off the poop on the bathroom wall.

And this is when I found him.

I went nuts, of course. I told him to go wash his hands and get dressed.
After I cleaned up the newly poop-painted wall, I found him butt-naked (Still!) in his room, rubbing a prescription tube of Bactroban on his feet and legs.

When I asked (rather violently), "What ARE you DOING????", he replied, "I'm putting lotion on my legs."

"WHYYYYYY are you putting 'lotion' on your legs?"

"Because they NEEDED it."



  1. Keep telling stories like this and Outis and I will never have children!

  2. But when he runs to you and says, "You're the best Mama in the whole wide world" with the biggest of hugs, somehow you forget that his alter ego is The Master of Disaster. And Lysol kills everything.