Not Me Monday courtesy of MckMama!

We are NOT back to the Amish bread again.

I was NOT looking forward to baking Amish bread.

I did NOT get up at 7:04 AM to bake the Amish bread.

The house did NOT smell absolutely scrumptious as the heavenly Amish bread was baking.

I did NOT mush the bread with love each and every day of the 10 day recipe for mushing.

Upon taking the much-anticipated Amish bread out of the oven, I did NOT yell and scream and curse at my oh-so-perfect-friend Miss Karen, yet again.

The bread was perfect. NOT!

The bread was NOT overdone.

The bread did NOT taste like cardboard.

The second loaf of bread was NOT the consistency of oatmeal.

I am NOT a prize-winning, champion baker.

I am NOT known for my excellence in the kitchen.

I did NOT,

I could NOT,

have FAILED at baking Amish bread.

Damn Amish.

I did NOT post the following daily status on Facebook:

"It would suck to be Amish."

Since the Amish do NOT have internet access, I am certain that this post will NOT offend anyone.

I would NEVER do such a thing as offend the Amish and their stupid 'friendship' bread.

NOT me.

NOT ever.

And I will NEVER, ever bake another damn loaf of Amish bread again.

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