I am NOT a responsible parent.
I do NOT allow my children to play outside unattended.
I did NOT catch Captain Jake Sparrow NOT doing the following:
He did NOT mix bleach.
He did NOT mix 409.
He did NOT mix Rug Doctor.
He did NOT mix Fantastik.
He did NOT mix Car Shampoo.
He did NOT mix Armour All.
He did NOT have these items all over his clothes.
He did NOT have this concoction in a plastic bucket.
There was NOT steam rising from said plastic bucket.
When asked WHAT IN THE HELLLLLLL ARE YOU DOING? the Captain did NOT respond with:
"I am NOT a scientist doing an experimentationist."
When Billy Two Swords came running out to see why Hurricane Rojo was exploding at the mouth, he did NOT say:
"JAKE! Do NOT ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, do that again!"
"But why, Dad?"
Two Swords: "Because you could DIE!"
Captain Jake Sparrow: "Oh yeah? But I did NOT!"