This week in school, Captain Jake Sparrow is learning about fire safety.
Allegedly, a real, live firefighterfighter (that's what HE calls them) came to his school to talk about fire safety, and about having a fire safety plan in your own house.
So I pick up the Sparrow from school on this particular afternoon, and ask a ridiculous question.
"So Jake, do you have any homework?" (He never has homework. Well, let me put it this way. He very well MAY have homework, but he never says that he does. But I play along with him anyway.)
"Ya Mom, I do."
STUNNED, I reply, "You do? YOU have HOMEWORK?"
"Yep. Sure do."
"What kind of homework?"
"I have to (honest to GOD he said these exact words) DEVELOP a fire safety plan for our family."
Then he told me the firefighterfighter came to his school and talked to his class about fire safety.
And I asked him what he learned.
And here we go with the Jake-ness:
"Mom. If there is a fire in our house, I have to put all my blankets and pillows under the door so they will get all smokey and burnded. And then I have to go upstairs (umm...we don't have an upstairs) and take ALL of my toys and throw them out the window. All of them, Mom, ALL of them. I have to take ALL of my toys and throw them out the window. And then when the firefighterfighters get to our house, I have to stand by the window and scream as loud as I can, "HEY! I'M STILL IN HERE! COME AND GET ME!" And then I might have to jump off the roof and land on my toys if they tell me to."
After I took the required very deep breath so that I wouldn't laugh, I casually reminded him that we didn't have a second floor in our house.
"Ya, Mom, I KNOW that, but if we DID, that's what I would have to do! I still have to throw all my toys out, DUH!"
Thankfully, we already had a fire safety plan put into place when Reilly the Red had this 'real' assignment last year, so Billy Two Swords was able to translate what the firefighterfighters were REALLY trying to tell the Captain, and I think he understands what to do in case of a fire.
Most importantly, the batteries in his smoke alarm got changed THAT night!