Once a month, our fabulously, wonderfully blessed and generous church takes an extra collection called 2 cents a meal.
The concept behind 2 cents a meal, is that each member of your family puts 2 cents a meal aside at every meal that they eat for the month.
Do the math.
It really is pennies for a family of four.
Recently, the children of the congregation have been tasked with carrying the metal buckets and walking through the aisles, acting as offertory ushers.
It is very cute, and it is teaching the little ones so much about giving it up to God.
It seems that Captain Jake Sparrow does NOT take his job as a 'COLLECTOR' very seriously.
Yesterday, when someone did NOT have any money for the bucket, the Captain did NOT obstinately stand there, with one hand on each side of the bucket, and did NOT say:
"HELLO? MONEY? I'M WAITING!"
Not my son.
And then, after he had done all of his 'rounds', Captain Jake Sparrow did NOT utter quite loudly:
"SOMEBODY put a Freakin' CHECK in the money bucket! Can you believe THAT?"
Not my son.
Could NOT have happened.
Did NOT happen.
There were NO witnesses.
NO one in this house uses the word FREAKIN'.