This morning, I received the following email message from my mother:
I just sent Reilly an email by accident, would you please delete it before she has a chance to read it.
Well, to be perfectly honest, I had forgotten my daughter's email address, so I had to ask Mom to give it to me, and lo and behold, Reilly the Red hasn't checked her email since May.
She had a few birthday wishes, and some cute pictures that Grandma had sent her, but that was it.
So it wasn't hard to find the email that was 'mistakenly' sent to her by her GRANDMOTHER.
The subject of the email was "God Bless England".
I clicked to open it, thinking it was a picture of Queen Elizabeth, or images of Stonehenge.
It started like this:
A Mexican, an Arab, and an English Man are all in the same bar.
(Please note, the text was in fact IN RED, and was in fact in a font larger than blogspot will allow me to use.)
(Also, please note that my seven year old daughter has an IQ of 137 and reads on an 8th grade level.)
And it ended like this:
In England, we have so many F***ing illegal immigrants that we don't have to drink with the same ones twice.
For 10 months now, my mother, Grandma Diane, has been very vocally complaining about the fact that she has not yet been given a Pirate Name.
Well, Mom, you did it to yourself.
Ladies and gentlemen:
Meet Dirty Diana.
Rest assured, in this photo, she is not reading Hustler magazine to my children.