Take 'em Back

~

Captain Jake Sparrow has a new bed.

A REAL bed.

A REAL big boy bed.

It is a full size bed, actually.

He had a Crib for Life, and was in the 'toddler' stage of the crib.

Since he only weighs 32 pounds (even though he is nearly FIVE), there was no sense of urgency to move him into another bed.

But we came upon a pregnant single mom in need of a crib.

So we decided it was time.

We gave her the crib, and at the same time, Dirty Diana and Tide Water Ted gave us a full sized bed.

Everybody is happy, right?

HA!

Captain Jake Sparrow has done very well in his new bed, for the most part.

He likes being able to go to bed at night, with his little lamp on, on top of his little man end table, with a REAL alarm clock, and all sorts of little man things stashed into his little man end table, with books, and the permission to read books until he gets tired and then he has to turn his lamp off and go to bed.

With the exception of one night, he has done amazingly well.

So I don't have any full size sheets or comforters or anything, as all the other beds in our home are Queen sized.

Yesterday, Reilly the Red and I went shopping for sheets for Jake, as it was Veterans' Day, and she was out of school, and there were big sales.

We went to EVERY SINGLE store in CLERMONT, FLORIDA that sells sheets, comforters, blankets, etc.

And EVERY SINGLE store in CLERMONT, FLORIDA had amazing sales on bed items.

The Captain's request, nope, DEMAND was for camouflage sheets.

Brown and green.

Not blue.

Brown and green camo.

That was it.

I didn't think it would be that hard to fulfill his request, because we live in the redneck capital of the world.

Oh, how wrong was I.

Even Reilly the Red was shocked at our failure.

Finally, at the very last store available to us, I found what I thought would be a most suitable runner-up.

A sports-themed bed set.

A complete set, with two sets of sheets, and all the shams, and a navy blue comforter with all types of BALLS on them.

And it wasn't a 'baby' boy kind of set.

A teenager who loves sports might put this on their bed.

And the Sparrow loves Navy Blue.

And we know we are going to have to repaint his room, and this will be super easy to match colors to, as there are all sorts of blues in the sheets, and some reds and even a spot of orange.

How could he NOT love it?

Mother's instinct is so unbelievably powerful.

They should find a way to bottle it, market it, and sell it.

It is ALWAYS on the money.

Dammit.

I knew he wouldn't like it.

The Sparrow wanted Camo.

Period.

End of story.

But I freaking bought it anyway.

It was a great deal.

It was on sale.

And the store even GAVE me ten dollars to buy it.

Super score, for someone who is a super bargain hunter and NEVER pays full price for ANYTHING.

We come home.

I leave it in the car, but take everything else out.

Billy Two Swords likes it.

Reilly the Red likes it.

Hurrican Rojo LOVES it.

But Rojo knows.

So I told Two Swords - leave the sheets in the car, and let me go break it to him.

Two Swords thinks I'm nuts.

He says, "He's FOUR YEARS OLD! He doesn't get to dictate these sorts of decisions!"

Yes, but that kid can be sold, if you sell it the right way.

So I go to talk to him.

I explain the WHOLE story, about ALL the store, and NO camo anywhere, and I found something I REALLY like, and I think you will REALLY like it too, will you give it a CHANCE?

"No."

He hasn't even seen it!

"Jake, come on, come with me.."

"No. I'm not going to like it. Get me the camo."

I try to explain AGAIN that not only did I search Clermont, I searched the internet the whole week before, and I CANNOT find what he wants.

"No. Get me the camo."

Finally, I don't know how, but I am able to coerce him to come outside and look at the sheets.

I think I carried him, if I remember correctly.

I put him on the swing outside, and I got the package out of the car.

I walk it over to him and say, "Whaddaya think?"

He shakes his head violently, sticks out his tongue and makes that face like a nine year old eating beets for the first time, and says (and I swear),

"Take 'em Back."

And he walks his very decisive butt into the house and shuts the door.

And there I stand, in the middle of the driveway, with a large package of gorgeous little man sports sheets and comforter, and I just look up to the sky and sigh.

"Take 'em Back."

Who does this freaking kid think he is?

"Take 'em Back."

As I write this, the large package of unopened gorgeous little man sports sheets and comforter sits right next to me.

Do I or don't I?

Do I wash them and put them on his bed before he gets home?

Or do I......

"Take 'em Back."

Ugh.


~