A certain individual in our home was NOT in the bathroom recently.
He was NOT screaming and screaming and screaming:
I AM NOT GOING POOP!
Who opened the door?
CAN'T ANYONE GET SOME FREAKIN' PRIVACY AROUND HERE?"
You got it.
The same kid who, at EIGHTEEN MONTHS OF AGE, did NOT spend the afternoon at my company's FAMILY picnic playing with the beer tap.
NOT my son.
Could NOT happen.
NOT the Sparrow.