Tuesday, December 28, 2010

Christmas Photojournalism by the Sparrow


Not to be outdone by his brilliant photojournalist of a sister, the Sparrow had his way with my (insured) SLR this week.

Please note, the pictures were taken at the Captain's eye level.

First of many photos of our newly remodeled den

The Captain's Magazine Collection

A personification of his favorite Christmas carol verse:  "FIIIIIVE  GOLLLLLLLDENNNNNNNNN Rings!"

The Grinch was on TV at the time.

Yes, that's a  llama.  From Peru.  Next to a book on psychology.  And a reed diffuser.  Yes.

Yep, still the Captain as the photographer.  Amazing.  I know.

And now we are moving onto the kitchen.

And a not-so-inspired-model, Fred.

Perhaps Fred was not so inpired because the Captain had yet to feed him???

Why the laundry area? 

Okay, so there WAS dog food.  Just not GIVEN to the dog.  Nice.  I am loving this 'evidence' that was literally dropped into my lap on a photo memory card.

Shout.  AKA (what Jake has to spray on his shirts EVERY SINGLE DAY OF HIS LIFE)

Jake's favorite thing.  The magical box that cooks his NIGHTLY bag of popcorn.  And the prints totally give it away.  MORE evidence!

Coffeemaker, wine opener, and bagels?

Wine and a toaster?

Now just a toaster?  What happened to the wine?

His right foot.

Gorgeous picture of my kitchen table with a pot holder and an empty napkin holder and two smitten carolers.

Note to Aunt Jodi:  NO DARK SODA!

Ahhh.  Pic #1 of Jake's bathroom, aka the "Beach bathroom". 

I was instructed to mention that he turned the starfish 'upside-down', so that he could take a picture of it's "BUTT"!

Yes.  A skull and crossbones toilet seat cover.  You were expecting perhaps, the Tooth Fairy?

Again, eye level of an 18" tall SIX year old.

How many Publix Christmas salt and pepper shakers do YOU have?

It's not REAL granite.  It just stayed at a Holiday Inn Express last night.

Jake's Birthday present from Aunt Meredilicious and Two Fisted Chris - and he has been rocking out to Godsmack, Kid Rock, Queen, AC/DC, and the Veggie Tales ever since.

AHA!  The mess that becomes him!  Finally!  You get to see HIS ROOM!

Newly painted, 'Mountaineer blue'.

Yep.  Drums.  Real ones.  Yep.  Our THIRD set.  Yep.  Insane.

He has been sleeping with a cast iron DEER for weeks now.  That HAS to hurt.

Whoa.  It's looking at me.

An unhappy carryover from his 'old stupid baby' room.  We're keeping it.  Forever.  Suck it up Captain.

A picture of Batman Bear's crotch.  Dunno why.

And NOW his head.

Yeah, I have no idea when or how his closet got that clean, but it never was before, hasn't been since, and never will be again, I promise you THAT.

Birthday present from favorite cousin Sammy who came and spent three days with us last week for Jake's birthday.

HIS right foot and flip flop

It's a garbage truck!  He loved it!  Especially getting to put real 'garbage' into the back of it and dumping it all over the house!

And....one more of the garbage truck.  And more awesome evidence of WET STINKING towels on his floor.  

I am MOST definitely going to allow him to use my camera more often.  If for no other reason than the 'evidence gathering'.......



  1. lol .... I'm afraid to see what my son would capture

  2. I love Jake! That little shrimp seriously cracks me up! How did his first football game go?

  3. Lindy - he LOVED the game. I am shocked that Two Swords and the rest of the WV gang had the patience to spend THIRTEEN hours with Motormouth at the game and tailgating. And I was told that Jake never shut up, those entire THIRTEEN hours. And that "chicks were all over him", and he got a bunch of beads and stickers and freebies, and in the words of the Captain, "a whole bunch of crap." When he called me after the game, all he wanted to tell me was, "For lunch I had sausage. Do you know what I had for supper? Popcorn! And Mama, do you know what? We were at the same stadium where they have the Monster Jam, and do you know what I finally realized? Mom - the food really isn't so great here. Now I know why the dudes are always just drinking beer. But I didn't. I ate my apple."

  4. A few thoughts as I read this post:

    That's a lot of Shout.

    HEY! Pink Truck! I just tried that this week. It's yummy.

    Why no dark soda?

    Which came first, chicken or egg? Or in this case, bathroom theme or blog theme? Was the bathroom inspired by the blog or vice versa?

    That toilet seat cover ROCKS!

    And having "Godsmack" and "Veggie Tales" in the same sentance made me chuckle. Hey, points for wide musical tastes. lol

    I can relate to the cast iron statue. My then 2-3yo had a cement rabbit that was missing one eye and one ear. She called it her "friend." It was all good til someone threw it a cpl months ago and it hit someone else in the head. Not cool. "Friend" met "Dumpster".

  5. 1). Yes, Monkey Girl it is iN fact a lot of Shout. I buy it online, by the case. I know you haven' 'meant' my son, but just imagine the psersonifcation of "Pig Pen" and you'll come pretty close.

    2). A-HA! YOU stole my wine@ Mystery solved. I had been hoping and praying that he head NOT poured it into either the toaster or the coffee maker, so thanks for breaking into my house and taking care of that for me@

    3). Again, the personification of Jake. He's bad enuougt WITHOUT caffeine and sugar. Throw the two together at any time of day, and you are headed for meltdown city, then boy have you erred big time by giving it to him at EIGHT THIRTY AT NITE! 30 minutes before bedtime! We actually have a no-cola standing role in our house. They may have sprite or ginger ale on special occasion like when we eat out, or oare on vacation, but we didn't like the idea o giving soda to children. Just a pesonal choice. We're not vegan or anything, but dark soda is the only thing on their 'do not serve it to me' list for babysitters. Good question, thous.

    Pirate them came with the boat, in 2006. Bathroom finished remodel on Friday, December 19, 2008. Pirate/poop blog evolved from both of those two other events, as well as a very sarcastic bent on using humor to battle my Chron's disease. Another VERY good question. You've been a pen pal for quite some time now, quit holding back on me and ask away! Clearly, I have no secrets, not to the pleasure of my husband or daughter, unless I have one of those very few days with about 900 hits. Then, and only then do they relinquish my choice/urge to spread our huge 'secrets'. Mainly the blog is about the Captain and his life of poop which he takes in a much greater stride than mY lie of poop! Great talking to you, BF!