So this past week, like everyone in my house, I was NOT suffering from that nasty green gunk in your head, frog in your throat, one minute your sweating, the other you are freezing, and could I NOT cough any more?
No worries. I am NOT used to being a complete and utter couch SLOTH.
I did NOT go four days without a shower.
Since I was NOT sick, I was NOT coughing up my last lung and I did NOT hack up things that did NOT belong in the human body.
Truth be known, I absolutely, positively, did NOT hock a loogie that was NOT the size and texture of a well-cooked, well-sized, piece of loogie-green bacon.
There is NO way I could have bacon-sized snot in either my nose, throat or lungs.
That is so totally NOT disgusting!
And NO, I do NOT have pictures.
But trust me, it did NOT happen.
I am NOT making this up.