Happy Un-Valentines' Day

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So.

Two Swords doesn't celebrate Valentine's Day.

I used to try to make him.

Like I would buy HIM stuff, or make HIS favorite dinner, or make reservations at HIS favorite dinner, or when he 'lost' his wedding ring on a construction site and I 'found' him another, or when I got tickets to Cirque du Soleil at the last minute.

Other than the wedding ring, which he felt HORRIBLY about losing, I don't think Two Swords enjoyed any of those Valentines that I forced on him.

Yeah.

I don't do any of that stuff anymore.

But the Hallmark Company and the Kay Jeweler Company and the Hershey Chocolate Company have already stuck their brainwashing prongs into my children.

Valentines' Day to them is up there with Christmas and birthdays.

It's a REALLY, REALLY big deal.

Well, why wouldn't be?

Every kid gets a Valentine.

And EVERY Valentine has candy attached to it.

And there are SCHOOL PARTIES.

And CUPCAKES.

And DIP N STICKS, which result in blue and green granulated sugar splayed all over my house.

And CHOCOLATE.

And then there are CHURCH PARTIES.

Okay, you get the drift.

So the Piranha (fka, Captain Jake Sparrow), actually kept his choppers in his mouth for a few days, knowing that one of the primary events in his fifth year, Valentine's Day, might become cataclysmically, catastrophically CANCELLED, with continued chopping.......

Reilly the Red was so nervous, as she has a tad of a boy crush.

There was a Valentine's Dance at her school on Friday night, but, please, SEVEN is entirely too young to attend ANY kind of dance, even if it is chaperoned. Well, that's what the parents in THIS household say anyway.

The day before the party and the dance, Red started to get nervous, because I guess there had been some playground skuttlebutt about whether or not her 'boy-crush' was going to 'ask' her to the dance or not.

When Reilly confessed this to me, she amazed me with wisdom beyond her years.

She said, "Just because the girls SAID he wanted to ask me, doesn't even mean he DOES. I mean, how do THEY know? Maybe he didn't even TALK to them, right Mommy?"

And I agreed with her.

I asked her if she thought her 'boy-crush' was going to the dance.

She said she didn't even know. But some of the girls were going. With their parents. Every child had to be accompanied by a parent.

For a second, I started to waiver just a bit on our 'SEVEN IS TOO YOUNG FOR A SCHOOL DANCE stance.'

And let me just add this little bit of information - Reilly never even ASKED if she could go to the dance. Not once, from the minute the event was announced, did my daughter express the slightest bit of interest in attending the dance.

So I just threw out a pitch. What the heck.

"Reilly, do you want to go to the dance tomorrow?"

And my oh-so-wonderfully-wise baby girl looked at me with horror in her eyes and gave me the most perfect answer to the simplest of questions:

"MOM? Are you crazy? SEVEN is WAYYYYYY to young for a dance. NO! I do NOT want to go to a dance! ESPECIALLY with my parents there! I would be a total LOSER! What is WRONG with you? I am NOT going to hang around at a dance with four SECOND GRADE GIRLS while all the FIFTH graders are STARING AT US! I will go to the dance when I am in FIFTH grade, just like you and Daddy said, ALRIGHT?"

"Of course, dear, whatever you think is best," I barely eke out of my mouth as I am

FIST

PUMPING

THE

SKY

BECAUSE

SHE

IS

DOING

EXACTLY

WHAT

WE

BELIEVE

SHE

SHOULD

BE

DOING

AND

FEELING

EXACTLY

THE

WAY

WE

(HER PARENTS)

THINK

SHE

SHOULD

BE

FEELING

AND

THE

WAY

THAT

WE

(HER PARENTS)

THINK

THAT

GOD

WANTS

HER

TO

FEEL.

And that was my way of saying, "Praise God, Halleluja, Praise GOD!"

So Reilly the Red, the sage Pirate that she is, worked it all out.

At seven.

She figured out angst.

She compartmentalized it.

Decompartmentalized it.

Stressed over it.

Got over it.

See ya later, Angst.

Kicked that one out of the park, she did.



So that's my NOT ME! Monday post.

I do NOT have a wise beyond her years daughter.

I do NOT have a beautifully sensitive, insightful daughter with REAL feelings, even ANGST.

I do NOT love her, every single millimeter of her, every single curly strand of hair on her head, every tooth that falls out of her mouth, I do NOT, I do NOT, I do NOT.

Oh, but YES, I do.





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