I did NOT steal my daughter's What Would Jesus NOT Do necklace NOR her handmade macaroni beads.
I did NOT wear my church Bell Choir shirt to such an un-Christian, frivolous drunk-fest, simply because it was NOT the only purple shirt I did NOT own.
At said UNattended party, I was NOT denied a prize for best costume because the host did NOT think I was UN-obnoxious.
I did NOT imbibe in the drinking of FAR TOO FEW many Hurricanes.
I was NOT denied a prize for NOT INCORRECTLY answering the most Mardi Gras trivia questions, because the host did NOT think I was NOT competitive enough.
I did NOT throw a fit.
I did NOT yell.
I did NOT throw my stupid green Mardi Gras coins at another guest who was NOT a complete stranger to me.
I did NOT pout.
I did NOT shout.
I did NOT scream "DENIED" at the top of my lungs.
No way, Jose.