Captain Jake Sparrow is currently serenading me, from the other room.
He is wearing his board shorts and his body surf shirt, as he has a "friend who will be visiting us later to go swimming". (NOT a play DATE, according to the Sparrow).
He is watching a television show called "My Gym Partner Is A Monkey", wherein, I-could-not-make-this-up-if-I-tried, the alleged gym partner who is allegedly a monkey is allegedly named J-A-K-E.
He is strumming his blue "Kenny CHAZZNEE" guitar and he has composed the following lyrics, sung to the tune of "Born to Be My Baby" by Bon Jovi:
YOUR MY BAYYY------------BEEEEE!
YOUR THE ONLY ONE FOR MEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
FROM MY HEADDDDDDDDDDDD
DOWN TO MYYYYYYYYYYY
I casually informed him that I thought he had the words a bit mixed up.
Songwriter Sparrow angrily replied, "How do YOU know? It's MY song! I AM THE ONE WHO WROTE IT, NOT...........YOU!"
Settle down, CHAZNEE, settle down.