Wednesday, December 23, 2009

A Broken Promise - It Is What It Is

~
Hello, friends.

My first year as a blogger is coming to a close.

An earlier close than I expected.

With a posting subject I NEVER would have predicted, just a little over one year ago today.

This is my last post of 2009.

Yes, you missed Jake's crazy Silly String party with Wacky Cake.

Captain Jake Sparrow at 5. That will be the theme for next year.

Yes, you missed the arrival of Two Fisted Chris and Mermaidelicious and how magically delicious our relationships have become.

And you've missed the Christmas tree that has NOT been put up this year.

And now you're going to get yet another broken promise from me.

It's that whole "Prayer Warrior" thing.

And it is why this is the last post of the year.

Because the blogosphere doesn't need me right now.

I don't feel the need, the urge, the desire to blog right now.

I only feel like being close to those three most precious to me, and not letting go.

Because..............

Of Grandpa.





Remember him?

Well, you prayed for him.

You prayed for him HARD.

In August.

He was on his riding lawn mower and he was hit by a pickup truck and sustained unfathomable injuries and lived to walk and talk and smoke another cigarette and talk about it.

And as he improved from bed-ridden, to wheelchair, to walker, to cane, to walking on his own, Billy Two Swords said he actually thought that Grandpa would be able to snowbird in Florida for his tenth straight year.

And here's where the broken promise comes in.

Grandpa isn't coming.

And Grandma isn't.

And I promised that my blog would always be lively and uplifting.

Unfortunately, life doesn't work that way, and perhaps I should revisit that promise next year.

But we need to get back to Grandpa.

Literally.

Because Grandpa needs us.

Since Grandpa returned to his home and returned to his 'life' and fought the fight of his life, and had WON.....

after he THOUGHT he had fought the fight of his life and WON.........

cancer was found in his lung.

And then it was found in his brain.

And today, it was found in his liver.

And so today, we get ready to go see Grandpa.

And we will be with Grandpa until we say goodbye.

For the last time.

So I'm hoping you'll understand where I have been, and why I have been gone, and will I ever be back.

Well, now you know where I have been, and why I have been gone.

And now I am going to tell you, that yes, I will ABSOLUTELY be back.

The stories will never stop.

And I will have more.

But my Pirate Husband needs me, as he, as we, learn how to parent a parent, learn how to say goodbye to a parent, because this is a new chapter in our marital life. And although this process will be grueling for Billy Two Swords, he doesn't have to walk this walk alone. I took a vow to stand by him through the tough times, and I have been here, right here, in 2009, during the worst year of his life. Two Swords lost his job, nearly lost his mother, nearly lost his wife, nearly lost his father, buried his best friend, and now, to face a terminally ill father......I can't imagine how he wakes up every morning and puts his feet on the floor. I really don't.

And my Pirate children need me, as I attempt to potentially homeschool them, if need be, as well as learning how to say goodbye to a grandparent, because this is a new chapter in their tiny little lives. But at the same time, they will see snow for the first time. And they will make snowballs and have snowball fights and make snow angels.

So as I close my blog for Year One - 2009, please remember how much you laughed and cried.

Please remember Captain Jake Sparrow and his ever-present poop.

And who could forget the illustrious Reilly the Red, with her exuberant beauty, astonishing intellect, and sassy little big mouth.

Please remember how much you prayed for Grandpa back in August.

Please remember how one day I had lymphoma and suddenly I did not.

Just, please, remember us.

Because we will back.

May each and every one of you have the most blessed of Christmases, and Dear Lord, PLEASE give the Florida Pirates a better 2010.

Like the phoenix that rises from the ashes, POOP In My Pocket will be back.

But it is what it is. For now, I have to go, and play the supporting role in my family.

Because that's what God wants me to do.

And to that, I say, "Amen".

13 comments:

  1. Heather, you and your family cherish your time with Grandpa. I'll be lifting you guys up in prayer during this difficult time. 'See' ya next year.

    Merry Christmas and God Bless. :)

    ReplyDelete
  2. Just want to let you know forst of all that I am praying. Then I want to let you know that I understand. Maybe Chris' Daddy didn't have cancer but he was sick for a long time and we watched him pass slowly. It was so hard on Chris and you are doing exactly what you need to do by being there for your husband. God Bless You.

    ReplyDelete
  3. I will be praying for your time with Grandpa. It is difficult time but we will be thinking of you. Merry Christmas & hope to hear from you soon.

    ReplyDelete
  4. So sorry that you and your family are having to deal with life's not-so-great moments right now. Please know that we're all praying for you guys. Praying for peace in your heart and understanding for the kids. Spend some time with Grandpa and Grandma.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Praying for peace for your family as you begin the new year. ((hugs))

    ReplyDelete
  6. I hope everything gets better for you pirates. You all will definatly be in my thoughts. All will get better in 2010. Have a safe trip to visit grandma and grandpa and enjoy the time with them. I hope you have a merry christmas and a happy new year filled with joy and happiness even in these rough times!

    ReplyDelete
  7. You do what you have to do and you come back when you are ready, we will be here when you get back! Prayers are being sent out to you and your family and for Grandpa. Take care of your family they come first. Lots of love and xoxoxo's

    ReplyDelete
  8. Praying for you, and your family.

    ReplyDelete
  9. In the last few months, your blog has brought a huge smile to my face. Today, it brought tears. My prayers are with you as go through this new chapter in your lives.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Praying for your family and Grandpa. ((Hugs))

    ReplyDelete
  11. We miss you Heather. So sorry about Billy's Daddy.

    ReplyDelete
  12. This post brought tears to my eyes. I am so wishing you and your family a wonderfully better year. I am hopeful that your strength will help your husband through this rough time.

    And, as I read down through old posts here on your blog and the sad tears turned to hysterical laughing tears, I feel better because it seems to me that you will get through these rough times and come out better on the other side.

    All the best

    ReplyDelete
  13. Oh no, I am so sorry! Your blog has been one of my favorites and I really hope to see you back when you're ready! I love reading about your adventures and will pray that God will give you stamina and peace during this difficult time.

    ReplyDelete