T O R T U R E

~

T O R T U R E

Nope.

Not that incredibly bad Jermaine Jackson song that I have now subliminally placed in your head so that you will sing it all day long, perhaps even two.

Nope.

My children again.

The torturous pirates.

They had been 'at it' for days on end.

One might blame it on cabin fever.

But they had been out and about quite a bit.

Others might blame it on normal, healthy sibling rivalry.

Perhaps, if they weren't constantly trying to bury each other ALIVE, or impale themselves on rebar, or simply elbow their own eyes out of their own heads.

Finally, I had a BRILLIANT idea.

And honestly, I don't have very many of those.

Especially when it comes to children or baking bread or putting ribbons and bows on bright paper packages.

No, I'm in the 'really bad idea' section of the Totem pole.

I digress.

As we were driving to see Gulliver's Travels the other night, they were BUCKLED in their booster seats and were STILL physically attacking each other.

Red, the smarter of the two, the more negatively manipulative of the two, grandest instigator in all of sisterhood.

The Sparrow, the not so smarter of the two, but definitely the stronger. And he acutally possess the power to manipulate himself INTO a cookie jar, hence no need to learn how to manipulate him self out of a cookie jar in the first place. Does not yet possess the social skills to manipulate, but he knows that he doesn't, and he is watching, waiting, observing, and stalkng the Grand Master at her greatest work.

I had to put an end to whatever the heck they were fighting about. Something like, the moon comes out at night, and the sun comes out during the day. Something THAT ridiculous of an argument had evolved to a car seat buckled full-on Slap Fest.

At the next red light, I casually mentioned the following plausible if/then theorem to Reilly the Red, "What would happen if you ever needed a kidney and if you wouldn't get one then you would die, and who is the ONE person on earth who you could call to save your life?"

And she knew.

And she was PISSED!

Because she knew!

I made her say it out loud.

"JAKE! Okay? Are you happy now? I'd have to ask Jake for a kidney!"

Me: "Well REilly, don't you think that perhaps you could start treating him like a human being instead of a wildebeest, just in case you might need that kidney some day?"

And the "FRICK A FRACK FRICK A FRACK FRICK A FRACK pretend cussing mumbled under breath."

Hmmmmm.

Jake turned white as a ghost.

"Jake? If someday Sissy got really really sick and needed one of yours, would you give it to her?"

The Captain aptly responded, "HECK NO!"

And then Reilly got mad all over again.

I told her to settle down, and listen to what Jake had to say.

"Jake? Why wouldn't you help to save your sister's life?"

"Mom? Would I HAVE to give her my kidney? (Keep in mind, he has no idea what a kidney is, but he is getting the idea through this conversation for sure!}"

"No, Jake, you would not HAVE to give her your kidney, although if it is the only way that her life would be saved, wouldn't it be the right thing to do?"

He starts to turn purple and exclaims, "YEAH, SURE IT WOULD BE, 'CEPT SHE IS ALWAYS AND ALWAYS TRYING TO

T O R T U R E

ME!"

Reilly stopped screaming.

Jake started to breathe again.

"Jake, if you might someday need a kidney, do you think Reilly would give you one to save your life?"

Sparrow -" Yeah, she probly would if I wasn't so mean to her all the time and screamed in her ears and threw dirt in her eyes."

"So guys.  Do you think maybe we can stop TORTURING each other and starting loving each other and treating each other the way that we know God wants us to?"

Reilly nodded a tear splotched face, "yes".


And The Sparrow succintly closed with, "Yeah, but only if, and I mean ONLY IF she quits with the TORTURING nonsense.  Cuz I really don't want to have to hurt her."


Okay you 6 year old, 22" tall, 35 pound Lilliputian. 


Okay!

I thought we were GREAT until Red posits the question to end all questions?

"Hey mom?  What would happen if we both needed the kidney from each other that exact same time?  What would we do then?"


Um,mmmmmmm.    Beavis?     ummmmmmmmmm Butthead?    Hello?     Anybody home??????????


I winged it.


For the 4,972nd time.


"Honey, it's very unlikely that you would need the kidney in the first place, as your family has no history of Kidney disease.  But, to answer your question, you must believe me, and you must have faith in me that God would help us out.'


Reilly, "I get it.  I do.  But it kinda blows some holes in your 'be nice to your brother story, doesn't it?


I whipped my head around so fast, I didn't have to say a word.


She knew she was on the brink of immediate and swift tortrure.


"I'm sorry.  I'm oh so very sorry.  I promsie I'll be nicer to him.  I will."


The Sparrow - "NOW what's with the crying?  Geesh!"


"SHUT UP, Jake!"


And it's on.  


Again.


Sigh.











 

The One Thing

~
So.

Lots happened to us in 2010.

Good, bad, ugly, indifferent.

You know the stories, you've been there with us the whole time.

But if I were to really look at 2010, through all the good, the bad, and the very ugly.

I would have to say.......

That the ONE thing that mattered the most.

The ONE thing that we will remember forever.

The ONE thing..........

.....is.........

that our baby girl was given 'back' to us.

(Photo credit to Aunt Mona as she visited Reilly in the hospital)

That is the ONE thing.

It is the ONLY thing.

That we never became three, and always remained FOUR.

Yep.

That's the ONE thing.

Happy New Year to you and yours.

And always hug your babies.........

Rojo

The Terrific One

~

On the last day of school before Christmas break,

on a day declared "Pajama Day and Hat Day",

on a day LITERALLLY filled with Sugarplums,

on a day when it dropped down into the 20 degree range *Yeah, we still live in Florida*,


on a day characterized by the craziness of Christmas shopping and the chaos of Christmas gift wrapping and the consumption of Christmas goodies.

on a day when the Christ was omnipresent in our Christmas,

on a day when a NINETEEN day winter school break was overhead-looming,

We stopped.

And took a break.

To honor someone.

Someone who didn't just celebrate a Sixth birthday.

Someone who really does get all the love we can give.

Someone who really does get plenty of attention, just not the same kind of attention as another pirate on this ship to nowhere.

Yes, today we stopped, and we honored our Reilly the Red,

Who received her Terrific Kid Award in a ceremony at her school.

And since it was 'pajama day', she even got her picture taken wearing her pajamas!

We adore our Terrific Kid, Reilly the Red!

Good job, Baby Girl!  We are soooo proud of you!

(Now get your book report done that is due next week.  Chop Chop!)

I had to get that in there somewhere....  :-P


~

Christmas Photojournalism by the Sparrow

~


Not to be outdone by his brilliant photojournalist of a sister, the Sparrow had his way with my (insured) SLR this week.


Please note, the pictures were taken at the Captain's eye level.

First of many photos of our newly remodeled den

The Captain's Magazine Collection

A personification of his favorite Christmas carol verse:  "FIIIIIVE  GOLLLLLLLDENNNNNNNNN Rings!"

The Grinch was on TV at the time.

Yes, that's a  llama.  From Peru.  Next to a book on psychology.  And a reed diffuser.  Yes.

Yep, still the Captain as the photographer.  Amazing.  I know.

And now we are moving onto the kitchen.

And a not-so-inspired-model, Fred.

Perhaps Fred was not so inpired because the Captain had yet to feed him???

Why the laundry area? 

Okay, so there WAS dog food.  Just not GIVEN to the dog.  Nice.  I am loving this 'evidence' that was literally dropped into my lap on a photo memory card.

Shout.  AKA (what Jake has to spray on his shirts EVERY SINGLE DAY OF HIS LIFE)

Jake's favorite thing.  The magical box that cooks his NIGHTLY bag of popcorn.  And the prints totally give it away.  MORE evidence!

Coffeemaker, wine opener, and bagels?

Wine and a toaster?

Now just a toaster?  What happened to the wine?

His right foot.

Gorgeous picture of my kitchen table with a pot holder and an empty napkin holder and two smitten carolers.

Note to Aunt Jodi:  NO DARK SODA!

Ahhh.  Pic #1 of Jake's bathroom, aka the "Beach bathroom". 

I was instructed to mention that he turned the starfish 'upside-down', so that he could take a picture of it's "BUTT"!

Yes.  A skull and crossbones toilet seat cover.  You were expecting perhaps, the Tooth Fairy?

Again, eye level of an 18" tall SIX year old.

How many Publix Christmas salt and pepper shakers do YOU have?

It's not REAL granite.  It just stayed at a Holiday Inn Express last night.

Jake's Birthday present from Aunt Meredilicious and Two Fisted Chris - and he has been rocking out to Godsmack, Kid Rock, Queen, AC/DC, and the Veggie Tales ever since.

AHA!  The mess that becomes him!  Finally!  You get to see HIS ROOM!

Newly painted, 'Mountaineer blue'.

Yep.  Drums.  Real ones.  Yep.  Our THIRD set.  Yep.  Insane.

He has been sleeping with a cast iron DEER for weeks now.  That HAS to hurt.

Whoa.  It's looking at me.

An unhappy carryover from his 'old stupid baby' room.  We're keeping it.  Forever.  Suck it up Captain.

A picture of Batman Bear's crotch.  Dunno why.

And NOW his head.

Yeah, I have no idea when or how his closet got that clean, but it never was before, hasn't been since, and never will be again, I promise you THAT.

Birthday present from favorite cousin Sammy who came and spent three days with us last week for Jake's birthday.

HIS right foot and flip flop

It's a garbage truck!  He loved it!  Especially getting to put real 'garbage' into the back of it and dumping it all over the house!

And....one more of the garbage truck.  And more awesome evidence of WET STINKING towels on his floor.  

I am MOST definitely going to allow him to use my camera more often.  If for no other reason than the 'evidence gathering'.......

~