The Captain did NOT proclaim to me that he is "in love".
He does NOT have a girlfriend.
He has NOT had the same girlfriend since he was 10 weeks old.
Not MY Casanova.
Last night, he did NOT tell me that he really, really, REALLY wants to kiss his girlfriend on the lips.
He is NOT
.......F I V E..........
I am NOT dealing with adolescent angst with a son who has yet to step foot into kindergarten.