Currently, there are two pirates in my pool. Both of them are supposed to be cleaning the shirpwrecks of their room,. but somehow (they are getting REALLLY good at this) they sneak out to the pool, and ask my permission sending them out from under mom's bare feet, but most importantly, they are now OUTTA MY WAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
UNTIL, that is.....UNTIL I heard Reilly the Red tell the biggest fish story I have ever heard!
Right now, they are swimming in the pool together and Red gives the whole, "I will tell you but you have to ankle-swear that you won't tell anybody, because Mommy's feelings are hurt and she said she will be really upset if we knew and there wasn't a nurse or a pastor to come around and help us sort through our feelings."
So Jake gave an ankle-swear, and Red proceeded with her deepest, darkest fairy tale.
Red starts with, "I'll bet YOU didn't know that Mommy was DIVORCED, did you?" She has a look of GLEE on her face.
The Captain actually starts to cry. Red has turned his world upside down on its axis. As the elephant tears fall, I rush to his side and plead my case.
==Jake ? Mommy made that mistake a very, very, very long time ago. God has forgiven me for it, and so has Daddy.
== Jake? I didn't have any other little tiny baby sons or little tiny beautiful daughters. Just YOU and REILLY. That's it. I PROMISE
== (he' still crying and heaving); Jake? Honey? Listen to Mama, honey, listen to ME. And don't believe everything your sister is telling you. Because NO, I have NEVER had a fourteen year old daughter who I left in a strawberry patch overnight, who ate so many strawberries she went to live with Willy Wonka. NO Jake, THAT is NOT TRUE.
I can only imagine what other lies she has told him. Or, WHY?
But I'm done with spying on my kids for awhile. For today at least.