Wednesday, April 7, 2010

Pecker, er, I mean PENCILhead

Oh, the Three Dot Wonder has been at it again.

It seems like it's every single day that he reports the three dot offenses.

'Cept, he just reports, "I got 3 Dots today and I don't EVEN want to tell you why."

He usually can tell us one or two of the three crimes, but conveniently gets Richard Nixon Disease and can't remember the third felony.

Some of his crimes and misdemeanors are boring.

Like, talking too much.

Or not listening.

Now, punching Kayla in the face because she walks too slow, now that is an AWESOME reason to obtain a dot. AWESOME. If only he weighed 53 pounds instead of 35, he might have been able to have an illustrious career as an MMA dude. But no. Not my little dwarf of a son.

So today, the Dwarf Sparrow came home and reported his 3 dots.

He didn't confess the reason for #1.

Or #2.

But he HAD to confess #3, because and Incident Report went along with it.

An Incident Report means either he hurt HIMself, he hurt SOMEONE ELSE, or he WAS HURT by someone ELSE.

Today, the Dwarf Sparrow became a Pencil Head.


He stuck a pencil in his ear, until it hurt, and until it bled.


Cause Shelby told him to.

You know Shelby, right?

His fiancee?

Who is eight feet taller than he is, and who does weigh 53 pounds, and who has been his betrothed since they were both 10 weeks old, and flirted with each other from between the crib slats!


Shelby told him to stick his pencil in his ears.

Don't know why.

But I'm pretty sure he has a punctured ear drum.

I looked in there with my awesomely cool Coal Miner's headlight, and I saw this huge blood bubble, and a torn piece of opaque looking flesh. (this isn't our first time at the torn ear drum rodeo, in case you were wondering, how does she know what a torn ear drum looks like, POSER???)

And, I'm pretty sure he won't ever do this again.

Just a hunch.

I'll be sure to let you know!


  1. Oh no. i can't believe that. Kids will do anything won't they? man, I am so in for

  2. HAHAHAaaaa I love ya all!!! Seriously...when can I come visit and see all the glorious action firsthand? HA!

  3. Oh my! I got in trouble with a pencil in first grade. I was throwing it across the room and it wasn't my fault some other kid looked up and got poked in the eye. My teacher said I tried to hurt him on purpose. I really didn't!

    J.D. has an awesome coal miner headlight too. It comes in handy when I get tired to holding the flashlight for her.